My Life as I saw it
by LuciaDuvant
Summary: Angst story from Sephiroth's point of view. This story is paired Sephiroth x Cloud Strife, and follows the story of the game, somewhat.
1. Chapter 1

My Life as I saw it... 

Angst story from Sephiroth's point of view. This story is paired Sephiroth x Cloud Strife, mostly angst with references to M/M Yaoi.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters Sephiroth and Cloud Strife or any other references made to anything Final Fantasy VII related.

Written by Lucia Duvant and first posted on her 20six account on 1st dec 04.

* * *

Part 1

I was the best, I'd worked hard for this place, everyone knew my name, I was famous. But fame wasn't everything, most of the time it came with a price, and for me that cost was loneliness. I never shared myself with anyone, I was a private person, I always tried to put out an image, a front if you like, of something I tried to be. I was already famous, successful, but I tried to pretend that I wasn't lonely or unloved, but inside... well inside I felt my heart was being eaten away by it.

I never found anyone who I could be really close to. Men... women... all were awestruck about being near me "Wow... You're Sephiroth! You're Great!" I just couldn't connect with any of them. So I tried to cut out the feelings of loneliness, I buried myself in my work, I tried to think about monsters and the work of Shinra, things like that didn't need love. None of the other guys in Soldier had love problems, most would write letters home on weekends to their loved ones, they all seemed happy enough. But I always asked myself one question "Why Me?" Its not like I'm ugly or fat or really obnoxious, I work out, I watch what I eat, I look after myself, ok so I have a bit of a temper on me at times, but nothing too bad. You hear other people saying "My body is a temple" I suppose mine was too. I didn't smoke, hardly drank and when I did it was in moderation. Drunk and work didn't mix, especially where monsters were concerned. Had to keep focussed, otherwise the slightest thing could go wrong and end up with a colleague getting killed. Unfortunately, I had seen it happen, not a pretty sight and very traumatic for others around too.

Anyways I did keep focussed as much as I could, but days rolled into one, as missions became longer, monster numbers increased, and morale levels dropped. There were too many beasts and not enough men to fight. I requested more and was told there were some in training, and they would arrive as soon as that training was complete.

* * *

part 2 coming shortly (when I remember where I've written it!). Comments on part 1 please 


	2. Chapter 2

My life as I saw it. 

Part 2

See part 1 for Disclaimer

* * *

Months passed and then two trainees arrived, one had made it to First Class level, his name was Zack. Fresh, eager and willing to work, he was good looking too, however had a girlfriend back home, so in my case, he was unavailable. The other recruit was a Soldier, he hadn't made it to First Class level, which I think upset him somewhat, he arrived whilst I was resting in my room. It had been a long day, Zack had arrived earlier that morning , and just wanted to be up and out there, but we had orders to wait, so he had to too. I sent him off with the others to be shown around, I really couldn't be bothered and when this new recruit came knocking on my door... well, what could I say?

"Reporting for duty Sir." He saluted with one hand and held papers out in the other, I got up off the bed and took the papers from him, scanning them briefly I asked him, "Name?" "Cloud Strife, Sir." They all looked the same, dressed in the typical Soldier uniform, no identifying details at all, just sheep waiting for the slaughter. "At ease," I said, and I sat down on the bed. The soldier took off his cap, I saw his face and was taken aback by his beauty, he looked so young, his features were boyish and cheeky, he had a shock of yellow/blond hair, and I just felt I could melt in his gaze, albeit it was one of Mako influence.  
"Sir, is there a bathroom I could use?" he suddenly burst out, he seemed very uneasy about something. I pointed to a door and he rushed through it at some speed. I could hear him being sick in the bowl and went to see if he was alright. I couldn't help it, it was a spur of the moment thing, I put my arm around his shoulder and when he had finished he snuggled into my chest.

At last I felt loved, I felt wanted, needed. The empty gap in my heart was filled with roses, and love hearts and I just wanted to share it all with him. As we sat together on the bed he explained that he got travel sick at times, especially on long journeys in extreme conditions. He looked into my eyes and I could feel something drawing us together. "Cloud, tell me about yourself." I felt I needed to know more, I wanted to know everything about him. He came from a small town called Nibelheim - I knew of the place - there was a reactor there. He had no brothers or sisters and no lovers either. I asked him what he wanted out of Soldier and he replied "I wanted to be First Class like you, but never made the grade. I want to see the world, there's so much out there that I know nothing about... and I want to be happy."

I looked at the clock, it was getting late, dinner would be served in the mess hall shortly. There was only one thing I was hungry for and they didn't serve it in there, although I wouldn't have minded throwing Cloud onto one of the tables and taking him there and then...

"Sir?" His voice dissappated my dreams, and took me back to the present. I looked up at him. "I really should be getting my stuff sorted, Sir, but there's no room in the huts. I was told to ask you, because you may know where I can sleep, Sir." Oh, I did know, here, in my room, with me. The bed was plenty big enough, and for an eternity I had been the sole occupant of it. "I have more than enough space, you can stay here." I cupped my hands around his face and gently kissed his forehead. He didn't flinch or move away, in fact he moved closer and put his arms around my body and hugged me. I unfastened my coat and threw it onto the floor, I was getting so turned on, I wanted him now. I removed his jacket and shirt and they landed in the same pile as my coat. His body was so tempting, smooth, toned but still with the boyish charm that fascinated me so much. I need to know more. I pushed him down onto the bed, he seemed slightly shocked but made no attempt to move anywhere else. Where should I start? I planted hundreds of light fluffy kisses onto his chest, briefly running my tongue around his nipples andcatching them gently between my teeth, making him gasp with pleasure. When I came to his stomach, I unzipped his trousers and eased them and his boxers down, pulling off his boots and socks at the same time, he was now lying naked on my bed. By this stage I was immensely turned on and wanted to fuck him straight away, but I resisted this urge and was about to tease him more, when...

As is always the case, you get interupted in the middle of something important. There was a knock on the door. I sighed, why can't they leave me alone? "Yes, what do you want? I'm busy!" I snapped. Whoever it was made to open the door. I jumped off the bed grabbing my coat and quickly putting it on, I got to the door and peered through the gap... the Soldier on the other side of the door looked in through the gap - trying to see passed me into the room, but I stood in the way. "Well?" I was getting very impatient, "You wanted something?" As if jarred back into life the messenger said "Yes Sir, we have been contacted." He handed me a message. I opened and read it quickly, it was our orders, we had to move out immediately. I told the man that we would be leaving in one hour and to assemble the troops. He saluted and left.

I closed the door, turned round and looked at the lithe body of Cloud, now asleep, on the bed. He was so tempting, but there wasn't enough time, I had to ready myself for the journey, and that meant waking Cloud. I leant over and kissed him on the cheek, "Cloud," I said softly, "you have to wake up, we are leaving in an hour." I gently shook him, he half opened his eyes, put his arms around me and pulled me toward him, kissing my lips. I wanted this so much, but we really hadn't time to be getting into this now. I caught his hands and managed to move him into a seated position, scanning his naked body and imagining the fun we could get up to if we had the time.

It was funny, as before I had plenty of time to lose on myself, and as soon as someone special came along, all this extra time dispersed.

* * *

Part 3, will be along as soon as I type it up. But tis 1.30am here, and I need sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

We finally got dressed and packed and out next to the truck. Cloud was still weary, he didn't want to leave my bed, and was still in a weakened state from his previous sickness. I had gently helped him get ready and packed our belongings up. Zack was bouncing around and generally being hyper, I wished he would calm down he was giving me a headache.

Then we were debriefed on our mission. I lounged to one side as the info was given out, I had read it in my papers, all I needed to do was prepare my psyche. I looked up with disinterest as the new recruits were introduced to the rest of the troop. Until Cloud was called, then I smiled to myself.

When the troops entered the truck I followed Cloud in who was last in line, and put my hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry," I whispered to him "this journey shouldn't be too long."

He turned to look at me and said, "I'm going home... haven't been back in years."

"Frightened?" I asked with a slight smile on my face.

"No." He replied, "just a bit anxious of the journey"

I led him over to the corner of the truck. "I got you a bucket for your sickness, we may not be able to stop until we reach our destination."

I sat down on the floor next to him, and wished I could take him in my arms and hold him tightly. But this wasn't the time or place for such feelings. There was a job to be done, and we had to go and do it.

I sighed, five minutes into the journey, and Zack was still hyper. "Sit down, Zack, I know you're anxious for the fight, but bouncing around the truck, is not helping the others in here." It was true, the rocking was making Cloud look even greener. Just then, something buffetted the vehicle and knocked Zack off his feet.

I turned to the driver, "What's happening out there."

The navigator turned to me, "Monsters, loads of them. They are trying to knock us off the road."

"See if you can outrun them" I replied. They nodded. I sat back down next to Cloud who was still very queazy.

I drew close and whispered to him "Whatever happens, I want you stay here, you are in no fit state to fight today. Promise me that."

He looked up at me from his corner and nodded. "Come back soon?" I smiled and nodded.

"Stop the truck." I ordered "Zack come with me. You wanted to fight. Well the time has come, and you have your wish. We have to slaughter these monsters to enable us to continue on this road."

He nodded and joined me outside the truck, I took a deep breath and turned from eye contact with Cloud. To be away from him so soon, was heart wrenching, but I knew we wouldn't be gone for long.

I could tell from the first moment, that Zack was very inexperienced, he ran in headfirst and got clawed savagely. I easily dispatched the creatures and then helped Zack up. "You will learn that jumping into battle is not always the correct way. Patience is a virtue. However, suprise attacks are best done from behind the enemy."

We returned to the truck, from the moonlight we could see that it was in a very rough condition and the rear tyre had been slashed through. We would have to leave it here. I opened the door and explained the situation to the troop. From here we would have to get there onfoot, and return for the vehicle in daylight.

I helped Cloud and his kitbag out and let him steady himself against the cold metal of the vehicle.

"We have to walk now," I said to him, "but you can walk near the front with me, so I can keep an eye on you."

Cloud looked up at me, his mako infused eyes, shining in the cool light of the moon. "Why are you doing this for me?"

I whispered to him, "Because you are my every wish, you are the missing piece of my heart that has been lost for an eternity. And having found you, I have no intention of losing you. And I will protect you over everyone else." I turned to go, "Are you ready to leave now?" Cloud just nodded as he was stunned into silence by my speech. He picked up his kitbag and followed me, the rest of the troops behind him.

We cut through the caves and mountains as much as we could, to try and evade most of the monsters. The ones we did meet, myself and Zack managed to kill them. I did, however, lose a few members of the troop in battles along the way. Fortunately, Cloud was not one of them, so I did keep my promise and protected him.

We were all glad when we saw the Nibelhiem reactor come into view. We did a preliminary check on the area, before walking into the town for lodgings.

I stood at the entrance to the town, with Cloud next to me, "First time back, in what? ... Five years?" I asked him.

"Yeah. At times I wish I didn't have to come back."

I turned to him and put my hands on his shoulders, the town square was empty, the rest of the troop now drinking in the local tavern. "But why? Don't you have friends and family here?"

He looked up at me, "My mother will be glad to see me. But my friend... I won't tell her, she would be disappointed, I promised to come back, First Class. I failed her. And the rest of the town won't care." He picked up his kitbag with one hand and took my hand in his other, "Where are you staying tonight?"

"I hadn't thought about it, I was planning to stay in the Mansion."

"No, you can stay at mine, my mom won't mind, she likes the company." And he lead me there.

"Mom! I'm home!"

A small brown haired woman bustled into the kitchen, as Cloud took off his helmet. "Cloud! Welcome Home." and then she turned to me, "And who's this... Oh My! You're Sephiroth! Oh... Welcome to our home. Were you wanting somewhere to stay? You can take Cloud's room. Cloud can have the floor."

"Mother!" Cloud said indignantly

"No, tis fine, I'll take the floor," I replied, "I've slept in much worse conditions before, and I'm sure I will again." And I followed Cloud up the stairs.

"Sorry about that, she gets a bit overenthusiastic at times."

I smiled and kissed his forehead, "is this the first time you've brought anyone home?"

He thought for a moment, "Yes, I guess it is."

"Well its a big moment for her, meeting your boyfriend." I smiled at him.

He stared at me open mouthed for a moment, "oh," he said covering his mouth with his hand, suddenly realising what I had said. Then changing the subject, "This is my room, the bathroom is just through that door at the end. And there's the bed."

I laid down on it, closing my eyes, then rolled over onto my side, facing Cloud who was still stood in the room. "Come here, Cloud. I'm certain we can both fit in this bed." He joined me and cuddled up close to me. I felt the warmth of his body, and felt complete. I felt loved, and more serene at that moment than any of my life previous. I rolled him over to face me, his features so angelic and... asleep, again. I sighed heavily. The boy was exhausted. It was understandable, it was a long day for him. I sat up next to him and watched sleep. He was so beautiful. I could sit and watch him for hours, but as the morning light peered through the windows, I laid down next to him, and closed my eyes to rest.


End file.
